Last month, on April 12th, a couple of friends and I went to a piercing and tattoo parlor. As part of the college experience, I had decided that I wanted to get my nose pierced. I knew it wouldn't be a huge deal with my parents, so I felt pretty exciting about getting it done. Well, it hurt, a lot, but I've enjoyed having it for the past month. However, as May term drew closer, I realized that I would be placed in a school in the area to get some field experience, and I started to wonder if I would have to take out my nose ring.
Now, first of all, it's not a huge nose ring, and it's not even a ring. It's a stud in the shape of a star, and I think it's cute. However, I understand that there are parents or teachers who would have an issue with ateacher who has a nose ring, so I figured I'd better buy a retainer so that I could take out the stud, but still ensure that the hole wouldn't fill in (sorry if this is too graphic).
Our teacher had advised us earlier about taking out any visual piercing that aren't always considered appropriate, at least for the first while to give off a good first impression. I figured that I would, at some point, ask the teacher, whose classroom I'm in, if it was okay with them if I wore my nose ring. But at least for a little while, I would wear the retainer.
Well, it's been a week and a half, and I think I've decided that I won't ask. I'll wear the retainer every morning to school. I've decided this on my own, and the reason being that I want to be a good role model. Alright, so I'm in a middle school class, and it seems that kids this age will act however they want, but I want to set a good example, especially considering some of the kids in my class. Some of them are very unmotivated, and seem like the kind of kids who could get in trouble. I also realize that this is a school setting, where students are supposed to be learning, and I don't want anything to block the students from learning something about me. While I get annoyed when society suppresses individuals from expressing themselves, I also understand that there are some places for expressing yourself and other places where it's important to be respectful of others, and school is one of those places where you earn and give respect.
I think by not wearing my nose ring to school I'm (hopefully) earning and giving respect to both teachers and students. I'm respecting them by saying "I will present myself in a professional manner because I am serious about spending time in your school, and I want to learn from you". I hope that I will also earn respect because I am presenting myself as willing to learn and not letting obstacles, such as this example, stop me from learning.
5/9/08 - Little changes...
This year I have been trying to make some changes in my actions. While these changes aren't the biggest changes I could make, I am trying to do something to help the earth. These changes include recycling, picking up trash, trying to use fairtrade products, and being aware of electricity when I'm not using it.
I find it relaxing to walk outside. But often during these relaxing times, I am troubled when I see all of the trash on the ground. Earlier this spring, I decided to do something about it: I picked it up. So, today, when I went for a walk, I did just this. However, it's probably not the most sanitary thing, and there's only so much my hands can carry. So, also today, I made a plan: from now on when I go for a walk, I will take a bag with me to pick up the trash. Afterwards, if there's anything I can recycle, I will do so. This leads to my next tasks: I am going to continue working at recycling on my own, which I have been doing for a while. It's very helpful to have the recycling bins out in the halls of the dorms, so I use those. Any bottles, newspapers/magazines, extra paper I can't use anymore, etc. that I have, I recycle. When I can, I print double-sided to save paper, and I've saved paper from last semester that has print on one side to use for later use. Hopefully, my addition in the recycling community will be beneficial in some part.
After attending a presentation by SweatFree Communities this semester, I decided to become more aware of the products I'm buying. At this point, I'm using coffee that is fairtrade, and when I'm finished with the sugar that I have now, I'm going to try and buy fairtrade raw sugar. I also want to work at buying clothes that have been made in the US instead of clothing that are known to be made in sweatshops. Because I'm in college, my funds are limited, and I'm finding it hard to purchase all fairtrade items that I need, because they're more expensive. Although I'm making small steps that hopefully will make some sort of impact.
I am also trying to be more aware of electricity and making sure lights are off and my appliances aren't plugged in when I'm not using them. When I'm not using my printer, I unplug it, as well as my computer and my phone charger. I also prefer to have my window blind up and use sunlight instead of having the lights on in my room. I think that watching the amount of electricity that I'm using is in someway, at least a little, benefiting the world.
I don't know if it will happen or not, but perhaps a child will see these little actions that I am taking and will learn to follow. People my age and older need to understand that we are role models to younger generations, and we need to show them how to take care of this world. I know that these actions I'm taking are not big, but they are changes that I am making to help the world. I've seen and read explanations that have shown the damage done to the world already, and I believe that we need to start working to help it. I believe that small changes like this are what make big changes possible.
5/19/08 - What I want people to see in me
I have decided that I want to be more aware of my actions in order to give out the image that I want people to have of me. I want people to think that I am a respectful, knowledgeable, strong-minded woman, who also enjoys having fun and being goofy. There are times when I'm very shy and quiet, and other times when I'm more comfortable that I goof off with my friends and am very loud and sometimes obnoxious. I don't want people to think I'm a "prude", but I also don't want to be considered "free for all". So, I've come up with a list of characteristics that I would like to work on. Here they are...
- Watch what I say: Usually, I'm aware of what comes out of my mouth. When asked a question, I like to think about it for a little before answering. Even in regular conversations, I am aware of the people around me, and I ask myself whether the comment I'm thinking of is appropriate. However, if I'm goofing off with my friends, I might say something that isn't appropriate, and then I regret saying it later. I want to work on this, and always try to be aware of what I am saying around people. This is especially important if I'm going to be working in a school setting around children. I want to convey to them the importance of being appropriate with what you say in all situations.
- Dress appropriately: More recently, I have been trying to find clothes that are fun but also classy. Before I started my field experience at a middle school, I went out and bought some clothes that would be appropriate for teaching. They are fun clothes that fit my personality and age, but also give a professional vibe. Generally to my classes, I wear t-shirts and jeans, and I when I work, I try to dress up these clothes a little. Hopefully, when working this summer, I will bring in some money that will go to more clothes that represent my fun but responsible personality, and will help convey a strong image as a future teacher.
- Share my opinions/views: As I said earlier, I can sometimes be very quiet, and this is especially true when I'm around new people. With this new experiences in my first year at college, I have been forced to be more open around new people. I only new my cousin (who was a senior) when I started, but now I know that I have quite a few good friends. My goal is to be able to speak in public confidently, knowing that my opinion is valued and is important to share. I am continuing to work at speaking in public and sharing my ideas in groups of people. I just have to work up the confidence to say something, and I think the time it takes, for me to work up that confidence to speak in public, is getting shorter.
- Be open to people who are different from me: I think I can be a pretty judgmental person. I can see someone and judge them by their appearance, and I'm really working on getting to know them before I figure out how I feel about them. I'm also working on taking time to meet people, especially when my first reaction is that I don't really like them. I want to be open to being friends with people who are pretty different from me. I know that peoples' differences are what makes this world so unique, and I want to be someone who appreciates those differences that arise between people. More recently, I've been telling myself and others, "It's not that I don't like them, I just don't get along with that part of their personality". I'm accepting that I'm not going to like or get along with everyone, but that doesn't mean that I can't be friends with them. I am working to continue this thinking.
- When making decisions, ask myself what I really want: When it comes to decision making, I'm not the best person to talk to. I often say "I don't care" or "it's up to you". Sometimes, I truly mean this, and other times, I think I'm too worried about making sure that the other person is happy with the outcome. I need to work on expressing my desires about outings, movies, food, and other little things like this. Generally, it's little decisions like these that I'm making, but it also applies to bigger decisions. I want to be more aware that my choice really does matter to people, and so I should share it. I want to convey this idea to my future students to show them that their choices in life do matter. I want to tell them the importance of listening to the voices inside them and following that voice. Because to enjoy life, you need to listen to yourself.
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